Description

📜 Cannabizookiez Terms and Conditions 📜

By purchasing, possessing, consuming, looking at, or simply knowing about Cannabizookiez, you agree to the following totally binding, completely rational terms:

1. Consent to Chaos:
   You acknowledge that consuming Cannabizookiez may cause excessive snacking, spontaneous philosophizing, irrational giggling, and a strong desire to become a woodland cryptid.

2. Waiver of Normal Human Behavior:
   Upon ingestion, you relinquish your right to “act normal” for the next 6–72 hours. Side effects include but are not limited to: interpretive dance battles, aggressively befriending squirrels, and believing your hands are tiny celebrities.

3. No Lawsuits, No Mercy:
   You agree not to sue Cannabizookiez or its affiliates even if you accidentally text your ex, adopt a traffic cone as your child, or claim diplomatic immunity from your responsibilities.

4. Snack God Ascension Clause:
   Should you consume an entire package solo, you automatically ascend to Snack God Tier.
   Responsibilities of Snack Godhood include:

   • Judging others for weak snacking

   • Speaking only in riddles and crumbs

   • Occasionally demanding tribute (preferably nachos)

5. Reality Distortion Disclaimer:
   If you encounter alternate timelines, hyperintelligent couches, or snack-themed spirit guides, you accept that this was always your destiny.
   No refunds.

6. Existential Crisis Bonus Round:
   For every 10 cookies consumed, you are entitled to one (1) free spiraling existential crisis. Offer not valid in dimensions where gravity is a suggestion.

By opening this package, you agree to the above without reading it, just like every other Terms & Conditions in your life.